This might be my new favorite headline/photo combo ever. pic.twitter.com/Rp6W1dJOjR

— Andy Cole (@AndyCole84) June 4, 2017

Thinking in absolutes is always a mistake sometimes.

— Demetri Martin (@DemetriMartin) June 3, 2017

sorry i got bored writing in your wedding guest book and just drew loads of little 3d cubes

— joe (@mutablejoe) May 30, 2017

AVOCADO RIPENESS

underripe = wet styrofoam
ripe = god's unsalted butter
overripe = sunscreen that's been cursed by a witch

— zach kagan dot net (@zakagan) June 1, 2017

after you turn 28 they should just call facebook "people getting engaged" or "strangers saying racist things and also various babies"

— Morgan Parker (@morganapple) May 29, 2017