He truly was a man ahead of his time. pic.twitter.com/BzKGUKLWKK

— You Had One Job (@_youhadonejob1) June 17, 2017

Always check your children’s homework before sending them off to school. pic.twitter.com/RICbkk0I7O

— You Had One Job (@_youhadonejob1) June 17, 2017

Soothsayer 2014: “In 2017 we’ll all be talking about Shakespeare, the U.S. Constitution, and basic civic norms.”
“Great. What’s the catch?”

— Walter Olson (@walterolson) June 18, 2017

My mother likes to use the microphone function rather than typing to text while driving. pic.twitter.com/vshphoob4V

— Gerald Austin Taylor (@AustintatiousT) June 14, 2017

Card reader: “DO NOT REMOVE CARD”
me: ok
CR: “DO NOT REMOVE CARD”
me: ok
*waits*
CR: “🚨🚨🚨FUCK REMOVE THE CARD 🚨🚨🚨”
me: *scrambles*

— Emily G, PDX style (@EmilyGorcenski) June 15, 2017