I almost killed everyone camping this weekend. pic.twitter.com/W94XqRalOl

— Dawny716 🏳️‍🌈 (@Dawny716) August 6, 2017

Soundgarden: Black hole sun, won't you come and wash away the rain

Neil deGrasse Tyson: Literally nothing about that is right

— Not Sara (@smithsara79) August 2, 2017

music store clerk, after an hour or so: Can I help you?

me, still can't remember the word 'castanets': I'd like your finest applause clams.

— spacegirl incognito (@iamspacegirl) August 2, 2017

I didn't just imagine The Mooch, did I? You guys saw him too, right?

— Tim Siedell (@badbanana) July 31, 2017

Every warning label has a story. pic.twitter.com/Q2h6631kiF

— Burg (@BurgerVonStadt) August 3, 2017