I bet splitting the bill for the House Freedom Caucus takeout is a nightmare.
— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) March 25, 2017
"Some people believe that death is actually an awakening." pic.twitter.com/6azvTN315U
— 💀Maggie Serota 💀 (@maggieserota) March 22, 2017
*gets first job* Wow work sucks
*builds successful career 40 years later* Wow work sucks
— Bucky Isotope (@BuckyIsotope) March 23, 2017
An autobiography pic.twitter.com/qlHqCPKHVo
— Yael (@elle91) March 25, 2017
"You tired of winning yet, you orange mothe—" pic.twitter.com/UAsOe4YH8G
— Gabe Ortíz (@TUSK81) March 25, 2017
Here’s the exact moment during today’s Inter-American Human Rights Commission hearing on transitional justice in Colombia where I, standing near the back, leaned against the wall and shut off all the lights in the room.
In my defense, it’s a big room and it shouldn’t be this easy to shut off all the lights.
— Merlin Mann (@hotdogsladies) March 18, 2017
I'm not saying the left always brings a quinoa salad to a gun fight but the Guardian did just publish thishttps://t.co/NZa0E3EGXN
— Rob Manuel (@robmanuel) March 17, 2017
wow this new radiohead song is really good pic.twitter.com/WrgvcfYFv5
— Sammy Nickalls (@sammynickalls) March 12, 2017
The worst placed ad placement by country mile pic.twitter.com/SnE7cvAXf6
— mark perkins (@thatmarkperkins) March 12, 2017
Are you going to Scarborough F pic.twitter.com/ipwDstrAaD
— trouteyes (@trouteyes) March 11, 2017
I thought I saw Steve Bannon but it was just an old oven mitt in the Pizza Hut dumpster.
— Jocelyn Plums (@FilthyRichmond) March 9, 2017
‘I grow tired of this foul human air.’
‘Patience, Maz’khuun. Soon we will return to the under-realms and inform the Elders of our success.’ pic.twitter.com/iqqiiyOdBL
— Damien Owens (@OwensDamien) March 9, 2017
Imagine being such a monumental, spunking tool you sat there typing ‘hey, when’s international men’s day?’ thinking ‘I’m such a player.’
— John Niven (@NivenJ1) March 8, 2017
Does Jason Chaffetz’s health insurance cover an iPhone up his ass?
— George Wallace (@MrGeorgeWallace) March 7, 2017
Finally some good news pic.twitter.com/HncnRV60fO
— Kermit (@ltsKermit) March 6, 2017