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From the New Yorker.
June 30, 2022 — 0
Our Supreme Court
Humor
May 3, 2020 — 0
Tweets that made me laugh the most this week
April 26, 2020 — 0
Tweets that made me laugh the most this week
April 19, 2020 — 0
Tweets that made me laugh the most this week
April 12, 2020 — 0
Tweets that Made Me Laugh the Most This Week
April 5, 2020 — 0
Tweets that made me laugh the most this week
March 29, 2020 — 0
Tweets that made me laugh the most this week
March 21, 2020 — 0
Tweets that made me laugh the most this week
There’s a need for humor in these times—and not the dark, unintentional kind you see in White House briefings. Here are my favorite seven tweets from the past seven days.
For literature buffs:
“Here’s how the Bogotá River [so polluted that Aterciopelados wrote a song about it] looked this morning after 5 days of quarantine.”
“Another end of the world is possible”
Read the replies if you don’t get the reference right away:
And of course, the now-classic “Quarantine day 6”:
October 5, 2018 — 0
Lunch break
In the middle of writing a huge report at home. Right now I’m filling in “conclusions” on page 87 of the 91-page “findings-conclusions-recommendations” matrix I created to hold all the information we gathered in Colombia. In plainer English, that means I’m really far along.
I did go to the kitchen for a lunch break a little while ago, though, as noted on Twitter.
I wanted a burrito. But then I was like “No, a salad would be the right thing to eat.” I got lettuce and a cucumber out of the fridge. But then I put them away and microwaved a burrito.
My point is: I totally Jeff Flaked my lunch just now.
— Adam Isacson (@adamisacson) October 5, 2018
August 6, 2017 — 0
5 tweets that made me laugh this week
I almost killed everyone camping this weekend. pic.twitter.com/W94XqRalOl
— Dawny716 🏳️🌈 (@Dawny716) August 6, 2017
Soundgarden: Black hole sun, won't you come and wash away the rain
Neil deGrasse Tyson: Literally nothing about that is right
— Not Sara (@smithsara79) August 2, 2017
music store clerk, after an hour or so: Can I help you?
me, still can't remember the word 'castanets': I'd like your finest applause clams.
— spacegirl incognito (@iamspacegirl) August 2, 2017
I didn't just imagine The Mooch, did I? You guys saw him too, right?
— Tim Siedell (@badbanana) July 31, 2017
Every warning label has a story. pic.twitter.com/Q2h6631kiF
— Burg (@BurgerVonStadt) August 3, 2017
July 16, 2017 — 0
5 tweets that made me laugh this week
Why do Swedish warships have bar codes on the sides?
So that when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.
— Martin Lejeune™ (@TheFaldor) July 10, 2017
Saving this screenshot for when my grandkids ask me what 2017 was like. pic.twitter.com/oFt0Nm86wP
— Copy McPasty, Writer (@KashannKilson) July 10, 2017
Saw a deer on my bike but didn’t have my phone to take a pic. Hopefully one day he will return my bike tho
— Mave (@MavenofHonor) July 11, 2017
For the entirety of his brother’s meeting with the Russian lawyer, Eric Trump was down in the lobby, pushing on a glass door marked “Pull.”
— Ken Jennings (@KenJennings) July 10, 2017
Everyone in Trump’s orbit is like a husband on Dateline who googled “undetectable poisons + wife” then bought a shovel with a credit card
— Peter Schultz (@pete_schultz) July 12, 2017
July 10, 2017 — 0
5 tweets that made me laugh this week
My mom just sent me this of my dad pic.twitter.com/fMuVFTkpBQ
— Paige Alban (@paigealban23) July 3, 2017
There is nothing that Serena Williams can't do. pic.twitter.com/xDAX1md9IW
— Josh Jordan (@NumbersMuncher) July 5, 2017
shutup, moby pic.twitter.com/MXlJiQcAIK
— eve peyser (@evepeyser) July 4, 2017
No one has ever been more appropriately named than Donald Trump Jr.
— Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) July 9, 2017
If you didn't start hearing fireworks three days ago, your neighborhood has been gentrified.
— Jason Reynolds (@JasonReynolds83) July 4, 2017
June 25, 2017 — 0
5 tweets that made me laugh this week
MICHAEL STIPE: I'm LMAO!
L- Losing
M- My religion trying to keep up with you
A- And I don't know if I can do it
O- Oh no I've said too much— Dave Cactus (@dave_cactus) June 24, 2017
This gorilla looks like he wants pictures of Spiderman on his desk by noon pic.twitter.com/aKQEphkxVy
— Persian Rose (@PersianRose1) June 24, 2017
Apparently an authentic Jedi outfit doesn't let you board a flight early with the other uniformed military personnel?!?!?!?! WTF?!?!?
— Tim Siedell (@badbanana) June 23, 2017
adults, 1997: "just wait until you're older, THEN you'll be a republican!"
me, 2017: "please raise my taxes, I don't want people to die"
— kelliott (@kelliotttt) June 23, 2017
Its ridiculous but when I start against the Mets I'm very aware that Jerry Seinfeld's mood is in my hands.
— Brandon McCarthy (@BMcCarthy32) June 21, 2017
June 18, 2017 — 0
5 tweets that made me laugh this week
He truly was a man ahead of his time. pic.twitter.com/BzKGUKLWKK
— You Had One Job (@_youhadonejob1) June 17, 2017
Always check your children’s homework before sending them off to school. pic.twitter.com/RICbkk0I7O
— You Had One Job (@_youhadonejob1) June 17, 2017
Soothsayer 2014: “In 2017 we’ll all be talking about Shakespeare, the U.S. Constitution, and basic civic norms.”
“Great. What’s the catch?”— Walter Olson (@walterolson) June 18, 2017
My mother likes to use the microphone function rather than typing to text while driving. pic.twitter.com/vshphoob4V
— Gerald Austin Taylor (@AustintatiousT) June 14, 2017
Card reader: “DO NOT REMOVE CARD”
me: ok
CR: “DO NOT REMOVE CARD”
me: ok
*waits*
CR: “🚨🚨🚨FUCK REMOVE THE CARD 🚨🚨🚨”
me: *scrambles*— Emily G, PDX style (@EmilyGorcenski) June 15, 2017
June 16, 2017 — 0
What’s the deal with those boxes
