New meal schedule:
*Breakfast
*Second Breakfast
*Elevenses
*Snack, Part I
*Lunch
*Lunch Dessert
*Snack II: 2 Fast 2 Salty
*Snack III: Nacho Drift
*Sure, let's call it "Dinner"
*Episode IV: A New Snack
*Snack V: The Jalapeño Strikes Back
*The Ice Cream Course
*Night cheese

— Dorothy Bendel (@DorothyBendel) March 27, 2020

If there's a baby boom in 9 months, it'll consist entirely of first-born children.

— Winston Chang (@winston_chang) March 24, 2020

Because everyone in Italy is quarantined, the natural wildlife has returned to the water and forests ❤️ We are the virus pic.twitter.com/azYjG7WU3H

— Jules (@Julian_Epp) March 28, 2020

Coronavirus coverage. pic.twitter.com/E5oAzcX9hn

— TwistedDoodles (@twisteddoodles) March 25, 2020

BREAKING: Customs officials at Dover have discovered two tons of toilet roll hidden inside cocaine.

— Sarah (@MaidenSarah1) March 22, 2020

In case you are wondering how parenting twins is going… pic.twitter.com/P0pRCUS8Sf

— Conz Preti (@conz) March 25, 2020

a small thermal exhaust port right below the main port pic.twitter.com/p4TPyAfSkL

— David Mack (@davidmackau) March 23, 2020