"Sir, that's an ingenious way to avoid getting the Coronavirus."

"Coronavirus?" pic.twitter.com/blKwhOa6Z0

— Matt Oswalt (@MattOswaltVA) April 10, 2020

Wanna feel old? This is Calvin and Hobbes now pic.twitter.com/H7FWUA1YC9

— Andrew Lawrence (@ndrew_lawrence) April 6, 2020

First month, kid's schedule:
7am: breakfast, brush teeth dresses
8: yoga, dog walk
9: art time
10: read
11: break, snack
12: lunch
1: science
2: writing
3: math
4: tea time and free play

Month 2
7am: throw cereal at their faces
8: ????
9: fart time
10: video games
11am-6pm: TV

— Jennifer Daniel (@jenniferdaniel) April 9, 2020

A whole mood pic.twitter.com/iMm4qbW5LS

— Janet D. (@TheRealPRLady) April 9, 2020

due to the pandemic “following up” is currently suspended. if you try to “circle back" with me i will call the police

— california guy now (@InternetHippo) April 9, 2020

Day 1: "I'm going to write a book."
Day 10: "I'm going to read a book."
Day 20: "I'm going to draw a book."
Day 30: "I'm going to eat a book."

— Nolen Gertz (@ethicistforhire) April 9, 2020

Fui al Urólogo y me dijo que si me operaba no tendría más hijos.
Acepté obviamente, me operé y al volver a casa mis hijos seguían ahí.
Pésimo servicio.

— Francisco Javier (@Dienteconcarie) April 6, 2020

This poem is called “First lines of emails I’ve received while quarantining.” pic.twitter.com/4keCqPaO63

— Jessica Salfia (@jessica_salfia) April 11, 2020

The problem with Zoom is that it turns everybody not speaking into the people with a camera on their face while losing an Oscar.

— Emily Nussbaum (@emilynussbaum) April 10, 2020

Things will be fine, eventually, in thousands of years, for rocks

— donni saphire (@donni) April 8, 2020