maybe this is only because i just went into the other room to get my phone charger and an empty glass i’d left on the table, but it really feels like 2020 will be remembered as the year of going into the other room to get my phone charger and an empty glass i’d left on the table
— Jon Bois (@jon_bois) April 16, 2020
One of the most beautifully authentic things I’ve ever heard. pic.twitter.com/VZhNeGvb6w
— Trey Callaway (@TreyCallaway) April 17, 2020
me: he said you’d say that
— jo diggity (@WhaJoTalkinBout) April 13, 2020
therapist: there’s no such thing as time traveling ghosts
him: my name is marc with a c
— kim. (@KimmyMonte) April 18, 2020
me: oh ok nice to meet you cark
I like how ads have gone from “buy a toyota” to “this is a difficult and uncertain time for us all…buy a toyota”
— california guy now (@InternetHippo) April 14, 2020
I'd absolutely watch a TV show where Steve Mnuchin and his wife were forced to survive on $1,200 for 10 weeks. https://t.co/3GaDj2zaTp
— batkaren (@batkaren) April 16, 2020
[Dr. Evil voice]
— ben wasserman (@benwassertweet) March 25, 2020
"Twelve hundred dollars"
Dating app opener, week 1: How’s the coronapocalpse treating you lol?
— Chase Mitchell (@ChaseMit) April 15, 2020
Dating app opener, week 5: You seem sturdy and of good stock. Would you find it agreeable to combine our households (I am free of disease)
We need to get on military time. If you tell me you woke up at 6:30 and had a bowl of frosted mini wheats, how am I supposed to know when that is?
— Mike Ginn (@shutupmikeginn) April 18, 2020
And here’s Florida Governor Ron DeSantis putting on his mask… pic.twitter.com/YKLHu7nuBo
— Rex Chapman🏇🏼 (@RexChapman) April 18, 2020