PERSON: why are you drinking bleach?
— your best friend (@SortaBad) April 24, 2020
ME: because of Trump
PERSON: no! what he said about that and coronavirus isn’t true!
ME: he said something about bleach and coronavirus ??
Airlines sending me “we’re in this together” emails. When my suitcase was 52 pounds I was on my own.
— Mikeyunbelievable (@MikeDentale) April 22, 2020
— chris. (@versacewolfe) April 25, 2020
i am a real american there are three things i love: guns, the confederate flag, hydroxychloroquine, and nail salons
— Megan Amram (@meganamram) April 22, 2020
weird name imo https://t.co/MreSYobvxa
— Fred Delicious (@Fred_Delicious) April 25, 2020
Im calling it now. When 2020 finally ends the story of the year will be the corona virus.
— Colin Quinn (@iamcolinquinn) April 25, 2020
‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Publication Where This Regularly Happens https://t.co/AOzNJLjzMW
— John Siracusa (@siracusa) April 24, 2020
don’t be fooled. Real Lysol needs to be from the Lysol region of France.
— 🧑🏻💻☕️ (@hunterwalk) April 24, 2020
Otherwise it’s just sparkling bleach.
Thinking of Seinfeld plots that could happen during quarantine, e.g.:
— pixelatedboat aka “mr tweets” (@pixelatedboat) April 21, 2020
Kramer gets too into breadmaking and converts his apartment into an industrial bakery. The deafening roar of the bread machinery ruins Jerry’s Zoom-based standup special. Meanwhile, George is dead.
It's a wee bit ironic, he's in scrubs and she's hanging out the passenger side of her best friend's ride trying to holler pic.twitter.com/T2g2UeafA8
— shawn (@nwahs086) April 21, 2020